Monday, May 01, 2006

Mexico Won Over By Cheech & Chong Propaganda; Nancy Reagan Faints At The News

In a well-planned kick to the War On Drugs' old vasectomy scars, Mexico's parliamentary houses passed a bill Friday that allows the carrying of substances including marijuana, LSD, MDMA, cocaine and heroin. The bill is expected to be signed by President Vicente Fox soon. Psychics forsee a rolling of Ronald Reagan in his grave. If the bill is signed into law, five grams of marijuana can be carried legally in Mexico, as well as a half-gram of cocaine. Small amounts of other drugs will also be allowed. In a classy move by politicians to reportedly handjob Zapatistas and indigenous peoples, up to a kilogram of peyote, used in many Indian religious ceremonies, will be allowed. However, selling any of these drugs will remain illegal; the bill also raises penalties for anyone found carrying over the legal amounts, as well as any dealers caught in the vicinity of schools.

In unrelated news, thousands of dirty hippies have been reported migrating to U.S.-Mexican bordertowns.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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