I need to get this off my chest because its been bugging me since it's been announced but how the hell did I not win the MVP this year? This is a travesty, and to add insult to injury I didn't even receive one vote. You know who also didn't receive one vote? Yep, that Gump Ass Garnett. Now are the reporters trying to say I am on the same level as Kevin Garnett? Me, Matt Bonner, the White Bill Laimbeer, the red rocket with a stroke so sweet Ray Allen asks me for shooting tips, and not to mention arguably the toughest NBA player in history. And these reporters have the audacity to say Garnett is on my level. Why don't you just put a battery acid on my nuts while you're at because that's basically what your doing by implying this Garnett is on my level nonsense. Garnett is old, washed up, and no where near as cool as I am. Hell, I even have video proof of this.
Yep just another one of the billion upon billion Bonner-maniacs
You think people make Youtube videos of Kevin Garnett proclaiming him the coolest Celtic? Heck no becausewe all know the coolest Celtic is Brian Scalibrine.
Look at Scal give it to the media. This is why I keep telling Pop and his beard to bring him to San Antonio in via trade so we can start the best duo in the NBA called the Ginger Express of Doom. Think the Midnight Express crossed with the Road Warriors, but more high flying and powerful.
But back to the topic at hand and why I should be MVP and here are five reasons that prove my case without a doubt
1. I am Matt Bonner
Reasons 2 through 5 look above. I am Matt Fucking Bonner.
What more reasons could you need? So Lebron enjoy your tainted MVP reign this year cause whatcha gonna do brother next season when Matt Bonner and the billions of Bonner-maniacs come crashing down on you.
And here is a rap track that sums up my mvp year
Brand Nubian - Punks Jump up to Get Beatdown