Saturday, February 10, 2007
White Dude in the house
Man I feel like I let all the little bonner-maniacs of the world down with this knee injury. They couldn't believe the toughest sob in the whole NBA could get hurt. So instead of posting I been fielding through the many emails from the heart broke bonner-maniacs. I had one kid say me getting hurt was worse than finding out santa clause and jesus were just figments of his parent's imagination to get him to behave. So like Mobb Deep taught me I decided to drink away the pain with a bottle of VSOP, what up lil scrappy, and blog in hopes to give you my fans some inspiration back. Since I went down with the injury I been bench pressing buicks, punching big ol hunks of meat with Kevin Garnett's picture on them, and even went to Russia to do some intense rehab. Don't worry I am coming back bigger and badder just like Big Daddy Kane would have
Warm it Up Kane
This is also the track that play after I hit a three pointer in San Antonio. Warm it up Bonner cause thats what I was born to do.
Well the good news is I am 90 percent back and should be hitting threes and banging broads in no time. A lot of the bonner-maniacs are wondering, "Hey Matt what do you listen to while you workout?" Well some think I listen to creed or nickelback since I am white, redheaded, and from New Hampshire, but they are wrong, dead worng. Matt Bonner only fucks around with hardcore rap music. When I am getting to ready to throw a gump ass punk like Garnett to the ground you know what is going through my head Ice Cube lyrcis from Amerikkka's most wanted and yes Matt Bonner is the wrong white boy to fuck wit.
Jacking your beat
Sometimes we will be in the locker room and brent barry will put in Foo Fighters cd and start playing air guitar till I stop him dead in his tracks with my now famous stare and the ice cold words of , "Nah Bonner don't listen to that shit." Then barry sprints back to the boom box and puts in some project pat just so I don't get up and have to slap him around. Matt Bonner is not above smacking a bitch just ass gump ass garnett. This song was written about me because I have the most trill moped in the NBA. I threw some d's on it and it can hit 45 mph on a straight away street. Yes Matt Bonner is really hood even if Beat pervert tells me this song ain't really talking about mopeds. I personally just think it was a drunken joke like the time he told me Amy Winehouse wrote a song about me.
Amy Winehouse - rehab
Throw a kit on that moped
The other day I went to the strip club with Tim Duncan. As we were making it rain some corny looking dude in puma sweats and a kangol came over and started popping off at the mouth that the suns were the best team in the west and that Nash owned us. I was gonna let him off with a warning till he added that Garnett would have whooped my ass. So I decided to let it really rain, 10,000 dollars bitches, and then well lets just say my crew showed him what the lyrics to brand nubian's punk jump up to get beatdown really means. After the dude got thrown to the curb this song played and me and Tim sat back and got a lap dance as we counted our money.
dudes in da house
More posts coming soon because I got some shit with Judy Blume I need to clear up and oh yeah if you all see Kyle Korver and his bitch ass posse tell em Matt Bonner is coming for them. I am gonna snatch that little suckers chain. Also why was bonner not invited to the all star duck contest? I am a former high school champion after all.
Whose better than Bonner? (And Matt Bonner did not pick that soundtrack
And remember all my bonner-maniacs need to say their prayers, eat their vitamins, and always remember what gump ass bitch kevin garnett is.