Friday, October 21, 2005

Are You there God its me boards of canada

I bet alot of you out there is wondering what an interview between cult writer Judy Blume, you know the dumb tile who wrote "Maybe Again I won't" to introduce 13 year old boys the joy that is voyeurism (for real dude used to use binoculars to spy on some teenager with some big ol titties, I don't make this shit up) and books about periods. Fuck I read that book as a kid and had no idea it was all a metaphor for bleeding out the vag, I thought it was some I love jesus shit. But anyway this is what an interview with them two would sound like.
Who'd thought god was a judy blume fan

Now onto the questions I would have asked gawd. First did Nas Knock out Jesus when he snuffed him at the age of 12, word in the bible district is that jesus has a suspect jaw, think don flamingo of Mike tyson's punchout fame. Next Is their a freindly rivalry between big L (the devils' son) and jesus in heaven? And if so has Big L dropped a punchline about JC's girl being a whore yet? And lastly who killed tommy's boy?

Now you might be wondering what the hell does this have to do with Boards of Canada and it all ties into the beauty that is an Eskimo Bloodhound. You see at drunk and focused we don't review albulms in the typical fashion we instead give them a rating of the most extreme sexual thing you would do to listen to said record. For example an albulm such as Wu Tang's 36 chambers would be the equivilant of letting a girl shit on your chest. That means that albulm is that fucking good that you would let a girl shit on your chest just for listening to it, its like the 5 mic system of the source if those ratings actually meant something. And lets be honest whats better praise 5 mics or letting a girl shit on your chest. Now onto the new boards albulm which is dope enough that I would give my girl a an eskimo bloodhound with a rudolph finish to listen to the new Campfire Headphase. For those who don't know an eskimo bloodhound is when you go down on a girl her during her "are you there god its me margaret" phase of the month, and proceed to stick your nose into her vagina and wiggle it around like you were giving her an eskimo kiss. From there you can turn it into rudolph the red nosed reindeer (chirstmas is just around the corner kids) by then proceding to go from the eskimo kiss to her box to her nose there by making her look like rudolph the red nosed reindeer. Now with that out of the way he's the free stuff.

chromakay dreamcoat

84 Pontiac dream

Constants are changing

No comments: