Monday, October 24, 2005

Mista Don't Play with my goddamn red grape wine

First things first Red grape Wine is the wine choice for belligerence. This is the bottle of maddog you start off the night with so you can be told the story of all the gully things you did the night before. These gully things may include getting thrown down a flight of stairs, thrown through a wall, and thrown through a door into a hallway and landing on some broad sitting down in the hallway to who you appologize to only to have your roommate (who is jewish yet dressed like santa clause and covered in blood) say's it doesn't matter she's just a little poon. This is also the wine that will make you wake up to a bed full of puke (just saying there is nothing worse than this and at the times like this I wish I had just pissed my pants instead, things to know I am a drunk puker not pisser, there is no r kelly in my bloodstream) and or have to clean the bathroom up for your roommates because you can't find the toilet bowl in your drunken state (I am just saying what could happen). Also your more likely to fight a frat kid and or get kicked out of a frat you crashed blacked out by a group of dudes in matching abercrombie clothes. (Hey the kids need to be warned of what happens on md night of red grape wine in a college town, I am saying I am a PSA for responsible drinking)

Now onto the music and the soundtrack for Red Grape Wine is Project Pat's albulm Mista Don't Play. This is the Project Pat albulm that has a soft spot in my heart and the albulm you will most likely hear me bumping in my car. Side note I was going to a dj gig one night blasting some Project Pat when a group of white teenagers of the pasty goth kid sect heard my bass music. Since they were white, lame, and never getting laid by a hot girl, they proceeded to attempt to diss me by throwing their hands up and down like they were in black face imitating their favorite rappers. Problems with this is first of all I hate most white people, especially the pasty I wear black to be different yet the same as all the other sallies who wear black kids. I mean who the hell is still into goth, what are we at a Cure concert? Shit get a new style, you pussies have been moping about the same shit and crying for years now. Next nobody, and I mean nobody, disses project pat or bass music in general. Fuck you and your emo rock that shit is for bitches pure and simple. I mean fuck yeah I blare Project Pat with pride and I don't care if I am pulling a Masta Ace and being born to roll cause honestly you know beat pervert won't play no elvis in my ride. Anyway I flipped them off and smiled and turned up Project Pat because you know I was born to roll with these tracks.

break da law 2001

So High


Fuckin With the Best

Cheese and Dope

Now onto the ratings scale for this albulm. Mista don't Play recieves a definite blumpkin, and I mean I honestly think this is the best record in the world to listen to while recieving one. A blumpkin for those who don't know is when you recieve a blow job from a female (or dude if your into that, we at Drunk and Focused don' give a fuck about one's sexuality we love you all, well except goth kids you fucking sallies and yeah nice black eye makeup what did your sister put that on for you). But yeah next time you need to take a shit you should grab a bottle of mad 2020 red grape wine, your girl and a boommbox bumping Mista don't Play and hell have a good time in the bathroom. I gurantee it will be more rewarding than reading the boston globe. Also my roommate can make blumpkin statues out of clay, if anybody would like to recieve a blumpkin clay statue get at me and we will send you one for a small monetary fee. Hell I would make a special mantle to put this project pat cd and my clay blumpkin on if I was you'se kids.

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