Monday, April 17, 2006
Live Free or Die
Ahh my home state new Hampshire gets some love from the Sopranos this week as the show starts off with news breaking that vito was spotted dressed in a village people's costume at a gay bar. Chris was at AA meeting when some dude at the meeting, who was cousin's with one of the other dudes that saw vito at the bar, told chris about the new and improved brokeback vito. Chris then runs to the gentleman's club to tell tony and the rest of the crew the news, while Tony tells them not to jump to judgment yet, and for all they knew this guy who supposedly saw him could just "have a hard on for vito."
Vinny Delpino and couple other goons go track down Vito at vacation with his mistress who he hasn't fucked for a year now. Ummm how can you have a mistress you don't fuck? Isn't the whole notion of a mistress is a girl you fuck on the side? Aren't they know just friends who use to fuck? Can somebody clarify this for me? Anyway Vito tells the goons and Vinny delpino he will follow them, but instead books it out of dodge to the good ol granite state. He goes back to his house first to kiss his kids good bye, and grab a shitload of money. Then he takes off to the good ol granite state and when Phil calls him, he tosses his phone out the window. Vito's car ends up breaking down and he hoofs it to a fictional town up north known as Dartford, NH. On a side note the white mountain region of NH comes highly recommend from me, it sure is beautiful out there. Anyway he finds a bed and breakfast inn and passes out with his gun under his pillow.
Elsewhere Chris is taking care of the bidness to wack the little guy rusty. They have two Italians coming in to do the job and Chris needs to enlist a middle man to take care of them to insulate the family. Chris gets a heroin addict named Corky who is fluent in Italian to relay the message to the Italians. Elsewhere Carmela is pissed that her house has been ransacked by her father, and the fact tony keeps forgetting about getting the permits for her. Not to mention she is just been surpassed in the women of Mafia husband's circle by big pussy's wife who will call just A lot of Pussy. A lot of pussy is making big bank at her body shop and is now putting money out on the street. Which makes carmela jealous cause her dumb ass can't even get her house built. Rosalie even remarks that A lot of pussy is not only on them(ie a dumb housewife married to the mob) but now she's also one of them.
Elsewhere Fin is at the social club telling everyone he saw vito giving head at the construction site after meadow spilled the beans. This was the final straw and the irrefutable evidence that Vito was gay. Paulie was the most adamant about vito needed to be killed, but tony wanted to think it over and told Paulie will he be taking care of Vito's children? At Dr. Melfi's office Tony admits he doesn't care that Vito is gay in reality and is thinking about giving him a pass.
Since vito is still missing Tony promotes Carlo to take over the construction bidness. Carlo then tells tony that vito's crew if he came back would no longer take orders for him and alot of the family is calling for his head. Tony argues that vito is his best earner by far and if he came back their is no reason why he wouldn't earn the same, plus he tells Carlo lets be honest cause we all know Vito ain't the first. Silvio then counsels tony to not give vito any slack cause it could come back to bite him in the ass and he could start losing money.
The show ends with Vito in a NH diner eating pancakes and homemade sausages and enjoying the NH way of life in antique stores.