Thursday, August 17, 2006

the mean cunt posse

Ahh the beauty of laguna beach its as if they took degrass high and moved it out of canada and replaced all the ugly people. And let us not forget how fucking ugly snake and wheels were, they took ugly to a craig mack level. And didn't wheels go to jail for drunk driving anyway in the degrassi movie or series finale? Or did he crash his car drunk and get paralyzed making his name come full cirlce? I am going to be thinking about this all day now.

In honor of the 2006 version of degrassi high drunk and focused presents its guide to laguna beach cause we got the teenybobber market on lock. I should be doing my first Tiger Beat cover any month now. I am going be bigger than kirk cameron soon with the kids, cause always remember beatpervert luh da kids

This season seems to be resolving around Tessa. Tessa does not seem as dumb as the rest but thats not really saying much. I figured the show would revolve around Breeana but it turns out beeana is dumber than LC and kinda on the degrassi and not the 90210 side of the looks. Anyway she is having drama with Rocky, who is tessa's bestfriend these days and not in with the "popular" mean girl clique. During the first episode we saw this in full force when tessa was invited by kyndra to a bbq at her house. Tessa brought rocky which pissed off the clique who just laid on a couch outside or hammock or some rich person shit you lay on, and acted like cunts to tessa and rocky till they left. Ahh the beauty of teenage melodrama. Anyway the mean cunt posse (thats my name for them y'all can use that if you want) is led by Kyndra, the Kelly from 90210 of her posse. She is also quote un quote the most popular girl in school cause she is the richest and most likely cause she has the best party house (and probaly gives the best blow jobs). The muscle of the posse, that being the biggest cunt, is Cami. Cami looks like a girl who likes to slap people and make girls cry. She is cartman in the form of a stupid spoiled whore. Lexie is the Donna Martin of the posse and I can't wait for season 4 and the let Lexie graduate episode. As for the dudes we got cameron, no killa but maybe not no homo?, who looks like a cross between tom brady and the masseuse who wanted to fuck drama.
"No that's when I did my three episode arc on 90210, sexually harassing Tori Spelling. "

He has the eye of Kyndra who wants to fuck him and some girl from back in the first two seasons of laguna beach, Kelly or some shit. Its the broad that used to date jason, the dark haired one. Anyway girl is getting played by a junior in high school which is some funny shit on so many levels. This shit will turn into some nice drama soon enough. The other two dudes are in a shitty band which they take too seriously and will probaly be overly pretentious about the whole time. Yep just think they talk about their band the way a pitchfork writer writes a review, and yes that review was metaphysical son! Also of note I can't wait for their shitty video to be played once on mtv after their show ends and then to never be seen again. I am saying reality bands don't get noticed when the show is off the air, ask puff daddy about this, or better yet ask dylan when he is not spitting hot fire.

This season should be some melrose place esque drama, I am talking straight up like when that red head blew up the place and took off her wig to reveal a huge fucking scar cause stupid spolied whores don't play, and this done show is chock full of them. Fuck the gauntlet I am riding with laguna from now on.

And for all the 14 year old girls who send me and that Dude justin love letters ( I am saying dude justin is huge with the kids, HUGE, also be on the lookout for his next posting because its a good old fashioned drunk rock n roll rant and a side note in a side note varick is huge with the suicide girls so go figure and guesse what the Eagles fucking suck, and is that donovan mcnabb puking in the corner?) is some of that justin timberlake remixed and shit
sexy back (dj oz parte traseira sexy remix)

No comments: