Tuesday, August 29, 2006

white gurls

Ahhh good ol' fashioned black Michael, you were a man amongst men, then you became a cracker and absolutely sucked and got woody Allen weird. But regardless of that you made thriller, and I sure do miss those days because you solved dj's problems worldwide of what to drop when in doubt when trying to get a white girl crowd to dance, and I am not talking hipster white girls, I am talking white girl who wants adina howard's freak song dropped thirteen years after Tony starks put that ass to sleep.

Sorry for the delay in posts but the drunk and focused posse went on an epic bender to celebrate black Michaels birthday yesterday. Michael was reportedly to have celebrated day by chasing unicorns only to ask them if they would sign his picture of Pedro Martinez throwing Don Zimmer to the ground. Needless to say the unicorns were not amused.

e-40 ft. juelz santana and ugk - white girl (g-rizzle remix)
Anyway for the white girls we have some of that drunk and focused teen beat shit with the gauntlet recap. Derrick must love e-40 cause he proved to be the dumbest motherfucker in the game. His first dumb move started when they had won a couple of missions in a row and voted theo and chanda into the gauntlet, even though he had an alliance with theo and that was his homie. This resulted in theo and chanda getting beat in the gauntlet by darrel and aviv. Then on the next mission they get voted into the gauntlet by big assed tina and kenny, which prompted diem to blow up and have a huge hissy fit saying Tina backstabbed them and all this bullshit and yadda yadda I have a cancer. They went against darrel and aviv in the gauntlet who only had 140 pounds of luggage to carry compared to the 240 for d and d (thats derrick and diem's tag team name.) Anyway Derrick thinks the bags are too heavy and says fuck it and leaves them. Dude was hoping that one of the puzzles would be to dropp your bags, but damn for that to work wouldn't you have to have bags to drop in the first place? Anyway the first puzzle is that they can drop one bag. They of course forget the flag and then get stuck on the second puzzle as darrel and aviv cross the finish line. This meltdown was epic and derrick is in pretty much tears lamenting the fact that he has become the karl malone of the gauntlet, and not to mention he blew it for a girl who needed the money for her hospital bills. And how the fuck did wes and casey make it this far? And what ever happened to that rumor that dude got fucked up by a kangaroo? That should be a ppv special, wes wrestles a kangaroo and at the end when he is going to pin the kangaroo casey hits him the head with a chair, and turns on him for all the verbal abuse over the missions. It would be like miss elizabeth and randy savage all over again, with a returning Alton taking over the Hulk Hogan role.

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