Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Abby Morgan invades the gauntlet

My roommate loafy made the most astute observation of his life when he pointed at that Beth was Abby Morgan. For those who don't know abby morgan was the girl that made kids of the creek's life a living hell.(she was also E's gf in Entourage) Think a cross between crazy emily valentine from 90210 (who was crazy as hell in high school, then brendan see's her in san francisco a few years later and everything is normal and they never mentioned how she went pyscho ruining, and trying to burn down the homecoming float the 90210 crew had made) and that redhead that used to be on Melrose place but is now a desperate housewife, yes the same girl that blew up melrose place and took off her whig to reveal a hideous scar, and to boot she used to bang Dr. Micheal Mancini.

Well beth is abby morgan and most likely the most hated person on reality tv. Well a little thing happened with abby morgan she became friends with Jen. This happened when jen got exiled from the clique when dawson and joey started dating, and she was still sprung on dawson. Jen and abby morgan together were like the midnight express, sure you hated them but you always were entertained by them. Then one night abby and jen got drunk off champagne and decided to go out on a pier and teeter totter on the edge cause their women, and well their brains are smaller then men's are. Well guesse what Abby morgan fell off that pier and died. You see what happens when you get high or drunk? You either get aids or fall of piers to your death. I am saying for every one dude that puts boxer shorts on his head drunk another 20 get aids or fall off piers. So don't let yourself become a statistic, when you get high or drunk always keep a pair of undershorts close by for they may save your life and ensure you won't get aids or fall off a pier. (this psa was sponsored by Cigarrete Smokers For Dick Chaney.)

Onto the gauntlet which was some tightrope walking shit where two teammates manuever over a tight rope while holding a rope between them. The most dominat gauntlet player maybe in its history Alton is up first. I am saying every mission its like he is mamba scoring 81, he can't be stopped, and hell you can't even hope to contain him. Long mission short Alton and the dude from the philly cast that used to look like that other dude from the philly cast are the only one's to complete the mission and the rookies win, but not before a classic beth moment where she was the last on the team to go and wouldn't even try to go across. Her teammates are pissed but realize its just beth being beth, sorta like manny being manny, if beth had any talent. Its a women's gauntlet and montana is set to face beth in a reverse tug of war. Beth wins again as the rookies cheer and derrick goes off on beth saying he wished montana won, she's a dumb bitch, and the meanest person he knows etc. etc.. I think he even told her he was gonna punch her straight in the ovaries, yep right in the babymaker.

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