Friday, May 05, 2006

Cheech & Chong Prove Ineffective; Nancy Reagan Praises Odin

In an incredibly surprising move that absolutely no one saw coming, Mexican president Vincente Fox vetoed the parliaments' "Ol' Dirty Bastard" Bill that would've decriminalized the possession of small amounts of drugs in response to pressure (described by one White House aide as of prostatic proportions) from the Bush Administration. Although the bill's original goal was to allow Mexican police to sidestep drug addicts and users so that they may pursue powerful drug cartels, U.S. officials and Mexican clergy feared it would be too strong of a blow to the weak, polio-stricken War On Drugs. All hopes of Americans disappearing across the border for a narcotic-haze vacation have been flushed down the toilet. Rush Limbaugh and Kate Moss are reportedly suicidal.

In entirely unrelated news, new press secretary Tony Snow is recommending all reporters eat mushrooms before attending White House press conferences to better-comprehend how a Fox News media demagogue got into the position of fielding questions for President Bush.

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