Monday, May 22, 2006
trapped in the closet part 37
Shit I didn't realize this is the second to last episode of the sopranos this season (and don't worry I got my next show to review already in the bank the new gauntlet fresh meat shit, anyone see the promo when the dumb broad calls the black dude a moneky or some shit and than gets cracked in the back of the skull with a swinging coconut? I am saying this is more than gonna make up for the lackluster last gauntlet) Anyway its been a weird season starting off with a shit load of drama with Tony getting shot, then lulling in the middle with alot of weird buildup physiological shit and not alot of action (not counting dude on dude action, dudes got wild on that show straight johnny cakes). But anyway we all now this week's show was leading to the inevitable death of Vito. Vito is back in New York and finds tony out a mall. Vito says the medicine he was on for his blood pressure fucked him up and he is no longer gay, and no longer a cheerleader either.
Anyway he tells tony he knows jersey is out of the picture but he knows he could work out of Atlantic city which is more "friendly" running girls and meth. Plus he will buy back in and give tony 200,000 dollars. Tony tells him he'll think it over. When tony tells this to silvio, chris and the rest they are kinda dubious. Tony realizes know matter what something will have to be done and wishes Vito had just stayed where he was.
On the domestic front AJ got fired from blockbuster for selling promotional items, he claimed he was just hustlin like Rick Ross. Meadow then tells the clan she is moving out to be with Fin in california for a year. Carmela then decides she needs a vacation from her life of not working and goes to paris with Ro. While in therapy Tony laments at what a soft pussy Aj is and how he wants to bash in his skull sometimes. Melfi turns it around on him by saying isn't he just really upset that carmela stands up and protects AJ unlike his mother, and that tony really wishes his mother would have protected him from the beatings like carmela did AJ.
Elsewhere Vito meets with his family and tells them he is deep cover in the cia and nobody can know he is back. Phil and his wife who is a fucking jesus nut, ie the Vice President of Concerned Catholic Mothers, cause apparently it ain't gay to bang little dudes, but as soon as those motherfuckers ain't altar boys anymore that shit is just wrong. Phil's wife who we will call Linda Lambert in honor of the balding red headed devil that kicked me out of ccd back in the day, says Vito embarrassed the family to no end and needs to come face to face with his problems.
Almost on cue we cut to Vito coming back to his hotel and catching a pipe to his head and duct taped and tied up. Weirdly out of the closest comes Phil (followed by R. Kelly, Tom Cruise and John Travolta). Phil makes vito look him in the face as he tells him how pathetic he is and then has his goons savagely beat him to death and top it off with a cue stick up his ass.
Back at the pork store Bobby comes into tell the crew about vito. Tony shrugs it off in front of the crew as no big deal and that Phil saved them the trouble off having to do it themselves. But outside he is pissed and tells Silvio how bad this is because Phil thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants, including killing a made man and one of tony's captains. Silvio says an eye for an eye? But tony doesn't want a bloodbath, and wants to get back at phil were it will hurt him most, ie his pocket cause all Phil care's about is money.
Back at pork store fat Dom stops by, he was one of the goons of Phil that killed Vito. Dom begins to bust the balls of Silvio and Carlo and eventually crosses the line pulling the proverbial "get your shinebox" esque comment leading silvio to knock him in the back of the head and carlo to finish him off with a butcher knife. And for the kids that don't know about goodfella's, phil's character in the movie is the dude that utters that line to joe pesci and ends up catching a beatdown of death.
Tony comes to the pork store but silvio tells him you don't want to see this, and Tony leaves pissed off and comes home to AJ playing video games with a hot blonde and that other dude whose name I forget. Tony takes AJ into the garage and tells him he is to start construction work tomorrow at 7 am. AJ doesn't believe him so Tony smashes his windshield in and tells him not to put him to the test, cause AJ ain't on his level.
The show ends with Vito's kids reading the newspaper article and finding out the truth about their dad and the photographer from the fat loss ad from the beginning season montage saying he knew vito and showing the picture of Vito from the thin club ad.