Monday, May 01, 2006
most valuable mamba
First things first what the hell happened to mamba? Dude is abusing the suns right now and actually relying on his teammates, and then coming thru in the clutch with monster shots. I am sorry but MVP steve nash if you actually hit fucking one of your five wide open threes in the fourth quarter then over time never happens, and you would not be on the brink of elimination. I don't think Nash has recovered from that dunking facial Kobe gave him early in the series. Serial(Al Gore What) Mamba skeet skeet skeeted all over him on that dunk, Nash was straight up faced. And never will I doubt Phil Jackson again, dude has that special ability to transform any player of questionable ability into a bonafide stud role player who can hit big three's when needed or make a clutch steal, or rebound etc. Think kinda like what I did with en p. When I found him he was the mark Madsen of the blog world doing acid and probaly listening to phish records and having a small cult following. I am saying I turned him around now he is getting hyphy, punching frat kids in the face, holding my weed and becoming the lamor odom/scottie pippen to my mamba/Jordan role here. I am saying its almost enough to bring a tear to my eye. Now on to that gangsta shit.
The show opens with Patsy and some other mid-level goon trying to shake down a chain coffee shop or some shit like that for protection money. The manager was like ummm we are a huge corporate chain if the money is off in the books they will just get rid of me and replace me with someone else. Which proves once again corporate america is fucking over the average american. I don't want to live in a world when the average mobster can't shake down the small businessman for some protection money. Reason number 678 to hate cooperation's: they fuck with the middle class mobsters money, they got kids that got to eat too ya know.
Elsewhere AJ makes his return to the storyline with shorter hair this time. He is still working at blockbuster, and going to clubs in NYC and getting laid because his dad is big time mobster. He also is slowly realizing that the only reason people hang out with him, fuck him, or be real nice to him is because of who his dad is. He also sold his drum kit so he can pay for 2,000 dollar drink bills at the clubs. Side note at least he is banging good looking broads, their is always a plus to everything.
Tony is worried about Aj and telling Dr. Melfi that it is ruining his sex life. He can finally fuck again and aj is being an anti-aphrodisiac on his sex life. Tony also says he cannot cheat on his wife because of all she did for him during his coma and getting shot. Melfi says to not worry too much and with the amount of information kids get these days that the new 21 is actually 26.
They then go to a shot of Aj and Tony on the boat talking about Uncle Junior. AJ asks what they are gonna do and tony says nothing because "He's incarcerated for the rest of his unnatural life." AJ sulks off after hearing that. Later on AJ is getting a backrub from a blonde floozy who asks him about junior and the shooting. AJ Brags that he will most likely have to take care of it, she thinks thats intense i.e. I will fuck you now. I am saying I was born in the wrong family although like big L I do be fucking around with more keys than a janitor it would be nice to be able to fuck a bitch without spitting game other than my dad is motherfucking gangsta, so where is my blow job?
Back to the corporate world, this hot broad offers tony a business proposal, Jamba Juice wants to buy out one of his properties in his old neighborhood. Their offer was too low at first so Tony refuses, but he shows definite interest in the women (she used to be an ER and probaly fucked George Clooney when he was on Facts of Life to get that gig). She finally brings a third offer to tony that he can't refuse which leads them to signing the papers at her apartment. They sign the papers and begin to make out. But before they fuck Tony stops, he can't seal the deal with her because he would feel to disloyal to Carmela. He leaves and then flips out on Carm because of blue balls and the fact their is no smoked turkey in the house.
Speaking of smoked turkey ( ahh the really bad pun to lead into the next story I am saying drunk and focused the only site which will use said pun then call out myself for using: I Keep it real) the vito story in NH. Vito or Vince as he is known out there is really turned on when he see's the dude from the diner that makes Johnny Cakes, as a volunteer fireman and save a baby. The next night at the bar he buys the table of volunteer fireman two pitchers. At the end of the night Jim tries to kiss him and Vito flips out and calls him a fag and gets a beatdown for that.
The next day Vito goes to the diner and apologizes to Jim saying sometimes you tell a lie so long you don't know when to stop. And then they have a romantic picnic and probaly fuck. As for the homefront Phil wants Vito dead and tells tony this. Tony does not like being told what to do from Phil and reminds him he is acting boss, and their will not be a beef over this because they principally want the same thing done, and Tony will take care of it how he wants to.
The show ends up with AJ going to visit Junior with a knife in his jacket. Before he can stab Junior the knife falls out of his jacket and security bumrush him. He is able to get out of it with no trouble because Tony has connections. Tony yells at him for being so dumb and tells him if he didn't know people he could be tried for attempted murder. Aj then breaks down and tells him why he did it and one of the reasons being that tony's favorite scene from the godfather was when Michael got revenge for his father and killed the cop and the other mafia dude. Tony reminds AJ that it was only a movie and tells AJ hat he is a nice guy. This life isn't for him cause he is a nice guy, and he is grateful for that. He also seems almost happy that AJ would try to enact revenge for him. He also tells AJ that his mother will never know anything about this. The show ends with AJ at a club realizing all these "friends" of his only like him cause he's rich and tony soprano's son and he has a panic attack in the bathroom.