Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Googly Moogly Little Papi is here

Boston's favorite dive bar singer, and living proof white boys can wear cornrows (fuck the haters you braid that shit up champ), Bronson arroyo has been traded for the man beast known as Wily mo Pena, who will probaly hit five balls right through the green monster this year alone. Big papi said pena hits the ball even harder than he does and Big Papi could hit the ball through a fat women from 400 feet away. Hell Big papi even once saved Andre the giant from a grizzly bear attack and then after knocking out the bear, he skinned it and made it into a rug which he gave to manny Ramirez as a house warming gift. Plus dude is only 24, and all the red sox had to give up to get him was the eddie vedder of baseball, or as boston redsox fans currently refer to him as the 7th man in a five man starting rotation. And as an added bonus we get to stick it to the yankees when Pena becomes a baby ortiz, and plus we have someone to spell trot against lefties and to fill in when he hurts his hamstring or quad or shoulder or has an unfortunate pine tar incident that leaves him blind in one eye and with only one nut, I am saying pine tar is dangerous shit.

In honor of Wily Mo pena drunk and focused gives you some of that new project pat bidness
Project Pat - googly moogly

Next up is the gauntlet. Fuck the gauntlet. This episode was bullshit and they didn't even show the gauntlet finale, they teased up the final and then pulled the to be continued bullshit with a tease of the gauntlet finale of derrick and timmy in reverse tug of war. Instead of recapping the useless episode which all built up the gauntlet whichthey showed during the first commercial break, I am gonna do rhetorical questions, comments, and nonsense.

Has their ever been anyone as dominant in the gauntlet as Alton? And do the rookies not lose male gauntlet missions because they realize they would absolutely get destroyed by alton in the gauntlet? He is like Hulk Hogan in the 80's, you cannot fuck with him. Plus he basically told jody she was a transition girl and you know he still hit that shit, and then again in the morning and probaly twice in the afternoon. Bitch ass randy has dreams of being alton.

Speaking of randy is he the most whipped bf in reality tv history?

TJ Lavis is a full grown wee man from jack ass.

Talk about beating a dead table. (horrible joke referencing when derrick had a hissyfit and kicked the table and broke the legs)

How bad has the gauntlet been this season?

I am saying Veronica should be on every gauntlet just so we can see her titties as she fist fights with katie or beth or whoever, I am saying they need at least three bitches per team to ensure drama.

Julie is fucking insane. Seriously fucking insane. How can we forget she tried to kill veronica one on a mission? I am saying she makes ron artest seem normal.

They need to bring back redneck country singer Jon from real world LA for one of these challenges, and he has to wear a hulk rules ripped shirt for every mission.

Lastly here are some radio mixes that unlike the gauntlet are actually entertaining

First up is the new podcast from Mad Decent Radio and diplo
Mad Decent part 2

Next we go over to them England boys and a mix from Coldcut who brings out that jungle music
coldcut solid steel mix

Last is some of that lemon red mix series with Emynd and Bo Bliz with some of that electro cuteness
60 minutes of music about guns, bitches, and money with similar bpms

Also Emynd makes dope t-shirts, I am saying someone buy me one, I am broke. If you buy me one I'll send you mixtapes galore and naked pictures of bea arthur. I am saying someone must want to do this deal.
bea arthur goes dumb for t-shirts

Lastly a fuckin snake ate me, a fuckin snake. Aww Damn breaks the news of samuel jackson's latest masterpiece.
snake's on a motherfuckin plane


Anonymous said...

how do i cop a "sixty four dollar cologne bitch" sticker?

beat pervert said...

ask serg from beerandrap.com, he's the dude that makes them. When you ask him though make sure to call him a pussy, cause well he is one and he likes to be reminded of that.