Thursday, March 02, 2006

Jacking your advice part 3

Every once and awhile drunk and focused likes to delve into the love advice world and jack some fools columns. We'll jack anyone from dear abbey to Carrie Bradshaw, hell if ice cube had an advice column I'd jack him too, but today we are jacking the Boston Globe's bobby Simpson, who is really Mark Godes, but since his last name rhymes with chodes, he decided to change his name to bobby simpson, and have his name be mark godes who writes as "bobby simpson" cause his government name blowed (like the project and yes rhyming is fun)

First off to ask some damn advice is a broad named maggie whose question was:
"I was wondering what you opinion on couples living together. I have read so many articles about how it can hurt a relationship in the long term. I was just looking for some real-life examples, especially as far as paying bills and splitting chores and stuff is concerned and I would love to live with my boyfriend of four years, but I am afraid it will doom our relationship if we get married in a couple years. Maybe its just me being paranoid."

bob replied: 2 choices move in or get married.

My reply to bob: "Bob You ignant slut"

First things first the whole why but the cow if you can get the milk for free is outdated. You wouldn't buy a an expensive car without testing driving it first, then why in the hell would you marry a girl before taking her out for a romp in the backseat of your dodge stratus? I am saying the same thing with living together. Fuck if you want to spend the rest of your life together you better be able to live together for a year before hand. If you worried after 4 fucking years that your relationship can't handle moving in together, your dumb asses probaly shouldn't get married and should start fucking other people immediately. I heard bob simpson was single you should give him a call maggie.

This next one is from a girl with the clever name of girl with a crush who wrote: "So there is a guy at work that i have a huge crush on. I am new here and don't know too many people, but this guy is so adorable. He makes me look forward to going to work every day. The problem is that his married. He has only been married for a few months. I would never date or do anything with a married guy, but it so hard knowing that he is taken. At first I thought it was nothing, but then I noticed that he has been looking at me with a cute face and often comes to my floor just to chat. How can I get over this? Again, I would never mess with a married guy, but he is just soooooo cute. Any suggestions>

Bob replied: He's off Limits

My reply to bob: "Bob you ignant slut."

We all know how this tale is gonna end. Its gonna be at the Christmas party and this dudes' wife is gonna be home with food poisoning or the flu or rabies, I don't know for some reason she won't be there. And dumb crush broad and adorable dude are gonna get drunk on the merry cheers of the holiday (and tequilla shots), and then are going to slip to the bathroom and crush girl is going to give him a sloppy blowjob in one of the stalls. The next day at work suddenly adorable dude stops talking to you and you later found out he bragged about the blowjob too all his co-worker chums and rumors spread, and by the time it reaches the mailroom the story ends with a gangbang and you servicing the janitor who was dressed up as Santa Clause with a blumpkin.

Last here a couple of baile funk songs that I forgot to put in yesterday's post

mc marcinho - te amo demais (versao danca)

mc markinhos and mc deloris - rap de diferenca

No comments: