Thursday, January 19, 2006

To be the man, whoooo, you got to beat the man

Allright fuck this jay and cam rap shit what they need to do is hook up with Vince McMahon and do this shit wwf steez. Hell it makes sense first things Jay Z would be the equivalent of ric flair in 1990 after his battles with ricky the dragon steamboat were over. Nas would be the ideal Ricky the dragon steamboat, both immense talents that never went to the level we always expected them too and then they both had awkward gimmicks that failed to blow them up i.e Nas with this Escobar and nastrodamus shit, and steamboat when he went to the wwf and started dressing like a dragon and spitting hot fire (literally). Also I am pretty sure the nature boy would rock sandals with jeans cause he was, whooooooo, space mountain. Camron would be Ricky Morton, yes Ricky morton of the rock n roll express. Now you need to realize the rock n roll express were huge as a tag team. They were the dipset of the 80's wrestling scene. I am saying they dressed fresh(thats fresh to those dudes into listening to def leopard at dive bars in new Jersey), they had their own unique style( Bandana's galore and the best feathered mullets in the game), they also had hair so teased that most girls fucked them just on principle that they put that much work into their locks, and without them, shawn micheals wouldn't exist because the rockers just bit their whole style from the rock n roll express. Kinda like jay z with biggie. But anyway everyone knew morton could go solo and have a hell of a match with Flair, but no one in the right mind thought he could beat him. You see Flair was the dirtiest player in the game and arguably the king of the wrestling business. Which would makes 50 Cent Hulk Hogan. Which is eerie when you think about the similarities: they are the most popular dudes in the business, they both made shitty movies, they both have more charisma than technical skill, they both get off going to the gym, and I am sure there is a 50 cent cartoon in the works like the old wwf one from like 87 or some shit. (side note anyone know where I can find those old cartoons?) I mean 50 got his fame from destroying Ja Rule's career and Hogan got over by defeating a just as evil force, the Iron Sheik. I think 50 is kinda boring and overrated for the most part, just like Hogan, but hell I thank him everyday that I no longer have to hear ja rule croon on the radio, and I am definatley waiting for 50 cent in Mr. Nanny 2.

Anyway Flair disrespected Morton and slapped him right across the face as the rest of the horsemen just laughed, Memphis Bleak would be the enforcer Arn Anderson of the four horsemen clique, freeway would be Tully blanchard, and beanie siegel would be ole anderson.(Dame Dash would have played the role of JJ Dillon ) So Morton challenged him and they feuded. It all came to a head for the two in 1986 at The Great American Bash, which at the time was one of the five largest live gates in North American history. Anyway long feud short Flair defeats ricky morton and sends him back to life as a member of the rock n roll express. A few years down the road ricky morton is working the indy circuit (think releasing albulms on Koch records) and today in 2006 Ric Flair is the wwf intercontinental champion. I am saying Camron back off now cause you know how this story is gonna end. Hell after all this camron might go the way of Adrian Adonis....umm no homo?

So if I was the Vince McMahon of rap this is how I would book this feud. First things jay response to cam will be kinda ehh, have it done at the end of Memphis bleak track and be nothing that earth shattering, something along the lines of how wack camron's confessions of fire albulm was, play horse and carriages, then nuff said. This would be like in wrestling when two dudes that obviously hate each other get into an impromptu brawl backstage and setting the stage that they really hate one another. The next would be a diss record by Juelz on jay z featuring shit talking from dame dash and camron. Now this is when it would get interesting. When camron is shit talking and celebrating dethroning jay z, dame dash would take out a coconut, straight piper pit style, and break it over cam's head. Then Juelz would tag roc a fella on the knocked out body of Camron, NWO style, and stand over him with the diamond symbol as Jay Z walks down to the ring and jay, juelz. and dame throw up the roc symbol, as Jim Ross Shouts No! No! No! This tremendous slobberknocker can't end like this! Camron is knocked out and the roc is back! YES by god the ROC is back!

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